Thoughts on Having Children


My trip to Florida was, like you might have noticed, a lot of late night dancing and partying; but during the day my thoughts drifted on to other things. Many of the situations, which inspired these thoughts, are not mine to share and I respect the privacy of those who shared them with me. I will however, share with you what went through my head and a dilemma that presented itself.

Throughout this trip it seemed as though the universe or god was giving me mixed signals. I am not one to act based on signs, unfortunately I act on my emotions and impulses far too often for my own good. Regardless, for whatever reason I felt as though there was a lesson to be learned from the situations that each person was in.

I was introduced to a beautiful child who reminded me of the stories I have always heard about myself as a baby. I have heard I was loud and I would cry constantly. There was a time, I am told, when I refused to wear a pair of overalls that my mom had dressed me in. I cried the entire day until my mom was forced to change my clothes. I was also very picky with my food, I would tell my mom that I did not want to eat anything green or orange or red. Meaning that I did not want to eat any vegetables. Of course as a child you like what you like and you do not know the benefits of eating vegetables. You also do not realize the hell you are putting everyone through by crying and screaming when you are forced to do something that you do not want to do, like eating vegetables.

Being a parent is a very tough job! I am twenty-six and I don’t plan on having any children anytime soon, but as some of my friends have begun to move in with their boyfriends and some of them are now engaged, I realized that I need to think about this. The day will come when the decision of whether or not I marry a specific person will be influenced by my choice on whether or not I want to have kids. The act of actually giving birth is so graphic that most people, even those who want kids, refuse to watch a single Youtube video of the event. Most men will probably never watch a video of it because; hey even if they do want to have kids, they do not have to go through the process of giving birth. As you might have gathered from my little rant, I don’t think it’s fair.

For the longest time I proudly talked about how I did not want to have children. In my old age I would buy a husky and he would be my child. I would go against tradition, I would be rebellious, and I would not have to change diapers or deal with screaming babies. I would not have to think about how to raise my children and more importantly I would not have to wonder if I could ever be as good a parent as my parents have been to me.

During this trip I was fortunate enough to meet a young spirited man. He says he lives in Armenia, a small town in Colombia and is thirty-five years old. He’s had four girlfriends throughout his life and has five brothers. He talks about violent fights that he ran away from, because he says he never fought a fight unless he absolutely had to. He loves to talk about how he was a huge coward in his youth in order to make his visitors laugh. He tried to sweet talk all the ladies; he thinks they are all beautiful. He is completely bald and when he smiles, which he does quite often, all you’ll see are his gums. He is in his mid seventies but believes he is thirty-five. I was there with two of his grandchildren who he does not remember, but some part of his subconscious must know because he talked to them a lot more than he talked to me throughout our visit. After a long conversation and a stroll through the backyard of the senior home we hugged him good-bye.

That family bond seems to exist even long after we can no longer remember our age. What would have happened if this man had not had children, who would visit him then? Who would he laugh with? I guess this is the reward that parents receive long after they’ve cleaned diapers and patiently waited for their children to stop crying. Their reward might very well be the promise that for as long as they are still breathing they are not completely alone and that for as long as their children continue to breath they won’t be forgotten.


Get The Look

Dress: (Sold out/Similar)XOXO Juniors Seamed Swing Dress

Blazer: XOXO Juniors Embellished Cropped Sleeve Jacket

Shoes: (Similar) Nine West Pook Bootie

Enjoy and have a wonderful weekend!


5 thoughts on “Thoughts on Having Children

  1. I see what you mean, I personally have very strong feelings towards not having any children… I’m not too psyched to be married either but I feel that might happen eventually but the children is something that I’ve spent many years thinking about and I know in my heart that I don’t want them… Some people feel that it is a selfish decision in my part because I don’t want the responsibility that comes with being a parent or that I’m scared but actually I feel it’s the opposite I am responsible enough to know that if I’m not 100% into being a parent I will probably be a crappy parent who secretly hates their kids for all the years I lost and all the sacrifices… For the right person having children can be very fulfilling and rewarding and it might be the greatest thing they ever do but you have to be completely sure that’s what you want. The thought of what’s gonna happen when I’m old and friendless has cross my mind but that’s something that I don’t worry about too much I’ll worry about it when it comes around plus I’m sure there’ll be plenty of nephews and kids of my cousins that won’t mind visiting me! I know for sure that I wouldn’t have a child for the sole purpose of him or her taking care of me when I’m old… I’ll figure it out once I get there… Anyways this comment is getting too long! At the end of the day it’s really all about personal choice.

  2. I know what you mean, honestly I still have reservations about it. I completely agree, having seen my cousin give birth to a boy and then twins shortly after, I know it’s a lot of work, a lot of sacrifices and a huge responsibility. It is definitely not for everyone and at the end of the day it’s really your choice and people should respect it no matter what you decide. Thanks for commenting :)

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